Don't Walk...

Yesterday, as I was driving into Middletown on Rt. 9 S, I saw a gaggle of geese in the process of waddling their way across three lanes of highway. They were trying to cross from the right, over to the median on the left. I can only assume that they were going to traverse the lanes going north, to get to the lake on the other side.

As does happen on highways, people were driving 65 to 70 miles an hour. We had to round the bend in the road, so nobody could see the geese until they were very close. I remember being in Drivers Ed class and being told that if it's possible you could cause an accident by avoiding an animal in the road that you should continue moving forward, hence running over the animal. That rule never set well with me. I understood why they would teach us that but I wasn't happy about it. And to be honest, I haven't followed that rule, always risking an accident over blatantly killing something with my car. (There's a story about a turtle, but I won't get into it now)

On this particular evening I happened to be driving in the left lane. The geese hadn't gotten close enough to where I was driving yet. I remember fighting the urge to pull my car over and guide them across the highway like a vigilante, donning my invisible traffic director's vest and getting them across safely. I thought twice, however, as I'm sure I would be risking certain death. I continued moving forward with a horrified look on my face as I saw the cars breeze past. At that point I became very angry with the drivers who seemed not to care about the well-being of these beautiful creatures. As I motored on down the highway, however, my perspective shifted. It occurred to me that geese can fly. I then became annoyed with the geese. "Hello! Guys. You have wings. Kinda ballsy to just saunter across the highway like that, don'tcha think?"

I know that geese are very loyal birds who travel in a tight-knit circle. It's possible that one of them was wounded or that there were babies. I began to create a back story as to why they had chosen to walk and not fly. Their leader's wife, the matriarch, had taken ill. The gaggle put her in the middle of the circle and escorted her across the highway, knowing exactly what they were risking. It was an act of sacrifice, love and bravery.

Whether that is true or not, isn't quite the point. I'm not sure if anyone involved in that situation was happy about their choices and the outcome. But I did come up with a moral to this story, so here it is…

If you can, if it is within your capacity, if you are equipped, ready, willing and able. If you are presented with the choice, please don't think twice.

FLY!

As always, thanks for reading! 

Love, Light & Blessings

~Sarah Gallardo

Surviving Domestic Violence: Rebuilding Life Through Art

I am thrilled to support two amazing women and Sister Survivors, Ewa Grochowska and Vanessa Stevens, by attending an upcoming art expo and luncheon. The Power of Purple campaign is presenting Surviving Domestic Violence- Rebuilding Life Through Art. The event will take place at the Holiday Inn, 10 Laurel Blvd., Norwich, CT., starting at 10am. The cost is $36.00 per person. For more information visit SafeFuturesCT.org or call (860) 884-8945.

I asked the lovely ladies to share a few things about the event and what it means to them. Here's what they had to say:

Ewa:

My name is Ewa Grochowska, on April 4, 2012 I went from being a victim to a survivor of Domestic Violence. This does not define me but it has molded me into the person that I am today. In December 2013 I created Freedom4Ewa to advocate for all of us who have been affected by domestic violence. I

volunteer my time with children living in domestic violence shelters by providing them with art

programs. I use a portion of the proceeds from my artwork sales to purchase the art supplies.

Currently, I have art programs at Safe Futures in New London, CT and Prudence Crandall Center in New Britain, CT. I am heavily involved in continuously reaching out and working to advocate for the domestic violence community. Because of my motivation and continuous efforts I have had the opportunity to speak at high-schools, universities, to individuals and non-profit organizations,

newspapers, news stations and initiating campaigns where I share my story of abuse and survival to spread awareness. I share my story to reach out to other victims and survivors so they know 

they are not alone. I want to inspire others and give them strength to move on from their abusive pasts. It is my life's mission to end domestic violence by doing preventative work and spreading

awareness!

My ceramic sculptures come from a place within me that is much deeper and intimate than I can explain in words. The ideas are pulled from my personal life experiences and deal with love, hurt, my heart, my mind, my body, and soul. It is a way for me to take all of the pain that I have experienced in life and bring beautiful artwork with deep meaning to the world. The pieces that I produce signify strength and beauty. The strength my pieces convey is something I have personally regained after surviving years of abuse. My art has evolved into a symbol of love, with a strong, positive message of survival and determination. Each individual piece of sculpture represents a part of the survival process that I myself have conjoined with the love of art--specifically sculpting. Each piece evokes a stage in the healing process of surviving domestic violence. I am using my artistic abilities to introduce art into the lives of children that are survivors of domestic violence. The process of producing my art is very layered and emotional, as is every aspect of my life. I take a simple wheel-thrown bowl, and turn it into a sign of strength by sculpting withered flower pedals that breathe life from within.

Vanessa:

The survival and recovery of Domestic violence is a crucial part of where I am mentally, physically and spiritually in life today.

Since the Safe Futures luncheon event focuses on the healing power of art, I’m honored to be a part.  Healing through music was the foundation of my personal survivor/thriver story. It is humbling any time I am to be referred to as a role model for other survivors if that is one way they become inspired. 

I want nothing more than my project to be a resource for survivors, service providers, and future thrivers. 

I continue blogging, and submitting my articles and short stories about women or overcoming abuse. First songwriting, singing and now writing has been a talent of mine, and what worth is our life if we don’t exhaust our gifts and talents by giving them back through serving others? I know without a doubt I will continue supporting causes that support awareness and prevention, and the work people like you Sarah, and Ewa are doing.  Thank YOU. 

Vanessa Stevens 

The Purple Song Project Inspiring survivors of abuse it is possible to thrive  and to find freedom within

 Purplesong.com

http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/ThePurpleSongProject

I Am A Whole Person, A Work In Progress

I was carrying the weight of all I had been through. I physically took it on. 

I was helping, experiencing, giving, going through, pushing past & overcoming so many major life events without thinking about myself. I forgot how to be kind to myself, how to forgive myself, how to take care of myself. And I no longer cared to try.

Before my aunt died I was in great physical shape. I exercised every day, sometimes twice a day. I took pride in the fact that I didn’t need to rest like people said I should. I pushed myself so hard physically that I ended up in the emergency room for overexertion. My heart rate wasn’t slowing down enough for me to get REM sleep. I left the hospital with a prescription to rest. Ha! What? Me? Rest? The doctors were not impressed with my want to push through this too.

Reluctantly I tried the rest thing. Two weeks later my aunt died suddenly. My whole world changed after that day. Grief, sadness, overwhelm, anger, frustration, grief, disappointment, regret, grief, grief, grief.

More things in my life unraveled after that. Relationships ended, goals changed and I tread water through it all. I tried hard to look like I was sailing swiftly, easily gliding across the water. I was not.

Fast forward to now. Today. This moment. I have come to realize that I am a whole person. I am multifaceted. I don’t always have it together. More importantly, though, I realize that I don’t have to. Not all the time.

I’ve remembered what I had forgotten. And that is that I need me more than anyone else does. I can be gentle and kind or relentless and harsh to myself. I can make or break me.

Before, my self care regimen consisted of going to the gym, getting my nails painted, taking baths, hiking, reading & taking myself out to the movies or dinner. I am now adding energy healing, cleaning/ organizing/ designing my home space, writing, meditation, yoga, alone time & the quest for balance in my life.

This is a work in progress, as it comes more naturally to me to take care of others before myself or push myself to unreasonable limits. But I am not a martyr. I am a whole person. I’m a work in progress. And I’m excited to see where this new road of clarity and self-care will lead me. Better yet, I’m excited to see where I will lead it.

As always, thanks for reading!

Love & Light,

Sarah Gallardo

Founder & Executive Director of Sarah Speaks Up

sarahspeaksup.org

Valentines Day On My Terms

I’ve always hated Valentine’s Day. Boyfriend, married, single or otherwise… Not because I hate love or chocolate or teddy bears, but because I don’t like being told what to do and when to do it.

Christmas: A time for peace, love and joy. Ok.

New Year: A fresh start. Ok.

Easter: A time for rebirth. Ok.

Halloween: A time to be creepy and eat candy. I don’t know. I don’t get Halloween. Yeah, yeah… It’s another Biblical reference. All-Saints Day. But we all know that nobody cares about that any more. It’s about the candy and wearing things you can only wear one day a year… Ok.

Valentine’s Day: A time for acts of love that you should be showing people throughout the year but most of us don’t. Ok, people. Hallmark! And every co-conspiring store imaginable! What about the single people, like me? What if cherubs freak me out? What if I’m allergic to chocolate and teddy bears? What if don’t want to? Huh?

(Deep breaths…) I’m ok.

So, yes I do have plans on Valentine’s Day. I will be spending it with my beautiful daughter. In the evening I will be giving an interview on a TV show called Bully No More. It airs on Skye Cable TV Channel 13 every Sunday at 6:00. I will be discussing the fact that February is Teen dating Violence Awareness Month. This sparks a great parallel between bullying, teen dating violence and domestic violence. I’ll also be discussing my non-profit organization, Sarah Speaks Up.

After that my daughter and I will be meeting my fabulous, talented, motivated friend Rita, for dinner. We have decided to spend this holiday making a difference, loving each other, and most importantly LOVING OURSELVES! We are doing what we have decided. Not feeling forced to find a date, but to share friendship and simply enjoy each other’s company.

All that being said, my daughter is still getting a necklace, pad and pen set with hearts on them and an oversized Hershey’s hot chocolate mug with candy and a teddy bear inside it. My Valentine this year, Rita, is getting… Well, Rita might actually read this so I’m not telling.

Valentines Day, I have complied with your theme of love, but on my terms.

XOXOXO,

Sarah Gallardo

sarahspeaksup.org

Leaps Of Faith Are Not For The Faint Of Heart

Leaps of faith are not for the faint of heart. They are for the resilient ones among us. You need gumption, determination, panache, and a sprinkle of crazy. You need to be the person who, in conversation with someone trying to convince you that your path will be hard and riddled with bumps and detours, simply says, “Yes. I’m sure it will.” and smiles.

We aren’t trained to take these leaps. We have been taught that the path to security, financial or otherwise, is through college, love, work, marriage, career, kids, credit, insurance, grandkids, 401K, some place warm where our arthritis wont flare up any more and we can play golf and eat dinner at 4:30pm, and a plot of Earth adorned with granite that has been pre-selected and paid for.

If you live this life, if you are currently on this path, good for you. Although I’m sure you have stress (we all do) you are on a road so etched and deep that the dirt has created a wall of safety around you as you move forward. You know that you have a plan. You are checking off the boxes. You’re climbing, achieving, creating, doing, being what you set out to. There is great satisfaction in that.

I…(as I chuckle)… I took the leap. I did the thing that people said would be hard as hell. My stress keeps me up at night sometimes. How to build something new, something that will help people and effect change…and make ends meet while doing it? Well, that’s the hard stuff. All I know so far is that you work. You work hard and then some more…until your eyes sting and your brain hurts and your schedule is bulging at the seams.

I’ve started a nonprofit organization. I am the Founder and Executive Director of Sarah Speaks Up. My experience? Surviving domestic violence, volunteering for the Prudence Crandall Center, and most importantly being Sarah. So, yeah. I leapt like a gazelle.

Another leap? The first fundraiser for Sarah Speaks Up. I planned this event for months. I envisioned the hall, the decorations, the auction table. Months of contact this person, follow up, print this, post this, meetings, designing promotional items, asking for donations and so on. I worked. And yes, my eyes did sting.

The day of the event felt magical. My vision was coming together. I was so excited! The hall could have fit 150 people. About thirty people showed up. Of course, I felt like I didn’t do enough. I didn’t promote enough. Didn’t reach out enough. (Cue Catholic fist beating of chest)

But, no. As some very dear friends reminded me, it was what I meant for it to be. I made something out of nothing. I did what I set out to do. The bands were awesome! Shout out to Rockin’ Rhythm and the Chris Barba Band for donating their time and talent, and thanks to Jim Neri for booking them. The food was great! Thanks dad, for cooking and donating all the food. Thanks to my friends Erin, Gordy, Bridget, Tom, Brenda, Chrissy and Will for all your help. Thanks to my fabulous Board for being such an important part of this journey. Thanks to all the people who donated auction items, including my mom and my sisters.

We will be having another fundraiser this Friday December 4^th at the Masonic Lodge, 80 Walsh Ave. Newington Ct. from 6:00-10:00. Tickets are $20. There will be dinner, beer & wine, live music, & a silent auction (pretty much like the first one, but more intimate) I’m excited to see how many more people we can reach.

So, here’s my takeaway… First of all, thirty people matter. I touched their lives and that is more than enough for me. Second, leaps of faith are not for the faint of heart. I’m not faint hearted. I am resilient. I have gumption, determination, panache and a sprinkle of crazy. I am that person who, in conversation with someone trying to convince me that my path will be hard and riddled with bumps and detours, simply said, “Yes. I’m sure it will.” and smiled.

Thanks for reading.
As always, Love and Light.